Those Advice shared by My Dad Which Rescued Us when I became a First-Time Dad

"I believe I was simply trying to survive for twelve months."

Ex- Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey expected to cope with the challenges of being a father.

Yet the reality rapidly proved to be "completely different" to what he pictured.

Serious health complications during the birth saw his partner Louise admitted to hospital. All of a sudden he was thrust into acting as her primary caregiver while also caring for their baby boy Leo.

"I handled all the nights, every change… every stroll. The duty of both mum and dad," Ryan stated.

After eleven months he reached burnout. That was when a conversation with his father, on a bench in the park, that helped him see he couldn't do it alone.

The simple phrases "You aren't in a good place. You require assistance. In what way can I support you?" opened the door for Ryan to speak honestly, seek support and find a way back.

His situation is not uncommon, but infrequently talked about. While society is now more comfortable addressing the strain on mothers and about post-natal depression, less is said about the challenges dads go through.

'It's not weak to ask for help

Ryan believes his challenges are symptomatic of a larger reluctance to talk amongst men, who still absorb damaging notions of manhood.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the fortress that just gets hit and remains standing every time."

"It isn't a display of failure to ask for help. I didn't do that quick enough," he explains.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert specialising in mental health pre and post childbirth, explains men can be reluctant to accept they're finding things difficult.

They can think they are "not justified to be seeking help" - particularly ahead of a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental health is equally important to the household.

Ryan's chat with his dad offered him the opportunity to ask for a break - going on a few days abroad, away from the family home, to get a fresh outlook.

He understood he had to make a shift to consider his and his partner's feelings in addition to the day-to-day duties of caring for a newborn.

When he opened up to Louise, he discovered he'd failed to notice "what she longed for" -holding her hand and paying attention to her words.

Reparenting yourself'

That insight has changed how Ryan sees parenthood.

He's now writing Leo weekly letters about his journey as a dad, which he aspires his son will look at as he matures.

Ryan thinks these will assist his son better understand the expression of emotional life and interpret his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "reparenting" is something musician Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

During his childhood Stephen lacked reliable male guidance. Even with having an "amazing" relationship with his dad, deep-held trauma caused his father found it hard to cope and was "present intermittently" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says repressing emotions led him to make "terrible decisions" when younger to alter how he was feeling, finding solace in alcohol and substances as a way out from the pain.

"You find your way to substances that don't help," he notes. "They may temporarily change how you feel, but they will eventually cause more harm."

Tips for Coping as a First-Time Parent

• Open up to someone - when you are overwhelmed, tell a friend, your other half or a counsellor how you're feeling. Doing so may to lighten the load and make you feel less alone.
• Maintain your passions - keep doing the things that allowed you to feel like yourself before the baby arrived. It could be going for a run, socialising or playing video games.
• Don't ignore the physical stuff - nutritious food, getting some exercise and when you can, resting, all are important in how your emotional health is coping.
• Connect with other new dads - hearing about their experiences, the messy ones, along with the positive moments, can help to normalise how you're experiencing things.
• Know that asking for help is not failure - prioritising your own well-being is the optimal method you can care for your loved ones.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen understandably had difficulty processing the passing, having had no contact with him for a long time.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's committed not to "continue the chain" with his boy and instead provide the security and emotional support he missed out on.

When his son threatens to have a tantrum, for example, they practise "releasing the emotion" together - expressing the feelings safely.

Each of Ryan and Stephen explain they have become better, healthier men since they confronted their pain, altered how they express themselves, and figured out how to manage themselves for their children.

"I have improved at… sitting with things and managing things," explains Stephen.

"I put that down in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan shares. "I wrote, at times I feel like my purpose is to instruct and tell you what to do, but actually, it's a exchange. I am discovering just as much as you are through this experience."